Jacqueline Marcell wrote a book a few years back titled Elder Rage-or-Take My Father... Please! This is Day 4 highlighting some tips from the book about how to handle certain difficult issues.
Prefers to stay in bed or do nothing-”waiting to die”?
This could be an ulterior motive to get more attention, or it may be a sign of depression. Carefully evaluate what’s going on. Drop in unexpectedly a few times and observe their level of activity. If you suspect depression, ask their doctor to consider prescribing an anti-depressant. There is such a wide range of effective medications available today that there may be no need for them to suffer.
Then, get your parent enrolled in Senior Day Care to create a life outside of lying in bed all day. They have to have something to look forward to, friends to see, varied activities to do. You cannot supply all this stimulation yourself day after day. Go with them a few times, have lunch and introduce them to everyone to encourage the making of new friends. Additionally, many centers have a shuttle service to pick them up and bring them home.
If your parent is a “Sundowner” who wants to sleep all day and be up all night, there are a few things you can do to alter this pattern. In the morning, open all the windows and drapes to let in fresh air and sunlight; make lots of noise by turning on the radio and television, running the vacuum cleaner, dishwasher, etc.; plan activities, exercise and visitors. Getting an hour or two of sunlight daily can help regulate their circadian rhythm. Ask your doctor about Melatonin that may help them sleep at night. Make sure they are not getting any caffeine from coffee or chocolate in the evening. Also, have their doctor regularly review all of their medications to see if any may be causing daytime drowsiness. If possible, switch them to be taken at night.
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