Tips When Caring for an Elderly Loved One - Day 2

Jacqueline Marcell wrote a book a few years back titled Elder Rage-or-Take My Father... Please! This is Day 2 highlighting some tips from the book about how to handle certain difficult issues.

Complains about real or imagined physical symptoms?

Set a time limit for these health “complaint” sessions. Listen, be sympathetic, and offer solutions. Then, declare the complaint time over and divert their attention to a different topic or activity. If the moaning and groaning doesn’t stop, give three warnings, use the silent treatment, then walk away.

Try a simple test to see if their symptoms might be psychosomatic or just for attention. The next time they complain of a minor ache or pain, quickly put a vitamin pill in their mouth, pretending the pill is an aspirin. See if the mysterious pain immediately goes away. Don’t tell them that their pains are not real, but privately let their doctor know what you discover.

Together, write down their symptoms in order of what bothers them the most. When you go to the doctor, see which symptoms they actually end up complaining about. Have the doctor address each issue, take notes, and cross each item off the list as they are reviewed. If your loved one is embarrassed to complain to the doctor, take charge and make sure the doctor knows all symptoms including: sleep, appetite, energy changes, memory problems, alterations in mood, inability to do basic things, incontinence, depression, anxiety and anger. Speak with the doctor in private if necessary.

Frequently bring all medications (prescriptions and all over the counter vitamins, etc.) to the doctor’s to make sure there are no interactions. When a new medicine is prescribed, ask if any specific foods and alcohol should be avoided while taking this drug. Should this drug be taken with or without food? Should this drug be taken at a certain time of day? Is it all right to continue normal activities, such as driving? All drugs have side effects, and can interact with each other and produce further complications.

Get a lock box for their medications if you have any suspicions that they are not being taking appropriately. Hide a spare key someplace in their home in case you forget or lose your key, or if someone else has to give the medications if you cannot get there.