Finding Hope

I should be having a fine day today. We signed-on two new clients and while I'm working on a Saturday, it is allowing me to catch-up on some much long overdo work.

However, things are not as rosy as they should be. A week-and-a-half ago my wife and I adopted a new puppy. She had been rescued the previous month from the Baldwin Hills pound the day before she was going to be put to sleep.

She is a cute 7-month old basenji mix named Mira. We thought she would be a perfect match for our current dog Chloe and at times it has been. But at other times, it's been anything but.

Mira is very toy jealous and has spent much time trying to dominate Chloe. In addition she lunges at other dogs when we walk her in more than just a casual or playful manner. Worse, while Mira and Chloe have had some spirited play sessions, twice they've gotten into vicious fights. Last night was the worst - with Chloe needing to go to the vet and my wife also getting injured trying to break up the fight.

When she spoke with our trainer about the incidents, the trainer was not positive. While dogs like Mira certainly can be rehabilitated, the level of aggressive behavior she's showing would take a lot of time - time that realistically we probably don't have. While I'm not willing to give up on Mira, I have to admit I need to seriously think if we can do this. Luckily, there's a foster home waiting for Mira if we can't continue but the idea of giving up on her is very hard for me to accept.

Our problems with Mira, though, pale in comparison to the new case we're starting in Beverly Hills later this week. Our client is having a serious surgery after being diagnosed with cancer. However, her cancer isn't nearly as difficult for her as the fact that her husband is suffering from Alzheimer's. He's had it for the last few years and things have gotten to a point where even without the illness it has become increasingly difficult for her to handle. This has not only played havoc with her health, but has created severe depression.

As I explained to her, as cold as it might sound, she needs to take care of herself now. There's a limit to how much can be done for her husband and while you don't want to give up, Alzheimer's can take a cruel course. As the Alice Munro book (made into a movie starring Julie Christie just a few years ago) illustrates, sometimes the most caring thing to do is not always so clear-cut.

Our client doesn't need to let go of her husband just yet as the husband in the novel ultimately does and maybe things will level out with his illness. Regardless, she'll need not just assistance for her own illness but respite from her life for a while. Her ability to find hope and a sense of calm within herself will be a process that will neither be short nor easy, but it is attainable.

It makes my concern over a 7-month old puppy seem trite in comparison. But just like a foster home awaits for Mira, help is also out there for our clients and millions of other spouses who find their dream of growing old with their mate be derailed due to illness, both physical and mental.

Right at Home can't change diagnoses or create cure-all medications but we can play a role in allowing someone to find the time to find hope that there is plenty of life out there still to live.

Checking my own personal distresses to help those with so much greater need is, at times, one of the more difficult but also more rewarding parts of this business and I hope we'll do well by this new client and anyone else who ever calls Right at Home looking for help...and hope.