Passing Away

When you work in the Senior Care business there is one fact-of-life that you cannot escape - and that is the end of it.

Recently, my stepfather passed away. An amazingly outgoing and friendly man, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed away 3 weeks later. On his final morning in his home, he suffered tremendous stomach pain but waited until my mother woke up before telling her that he thought he should go to the Emergency Room. After a few days in the hospital he refused any treatment and only requested pain medications and passed away. The doctor called him "very brave" for his decision.

Dealing with the elderly and how you handle your final years is - if nothing else - an eye-opening experience. And if I've learned one thing it is that the saying "Life is for the living" is about as accurate a cliche as there is. Rich or poor, male or female - if we are so limited at the end of our life that we're forced to live much of it at home or - less desireable - in a nursing home - than no matter how much money we've saved, no matter how many different caregivers we have, there is little we can do except try to be as comfortable as possible.

In the last week, 2 clients of ours also passed away.

One was our client for 10 months and we'd cared for her son and daughter (both stricken with cancer) as well. All she wanted to do was stay at home with her dog and she was able to fulfill that wish until she passed away peacefully in her sleep.

The other was a client of ours for 36 hours. On Hospice and dealing with a myriad of ailments including a collapsed lung, she requested that her oxygen be removed and slowly went away from this world. Similar to my stepfather, she was by all accounts a gregarious person who demanded to be discharged from a Respiratory hospital less than a week before despite her doctor's protestations. She knew she was going to die but she was going to do it on her terms.

Within that same week, we started cases with 4 additional clients - ranging from a 26-year-old male dealing with a devastating injury to seniors who still have plenty of fuel to go. In the homecare business, clients come and clients inevitably go.

But what my stepfather, as well as our two dearly departed clients, teach us is that life is indeed for the living - and what that means and how we choose to deal with the end of it is unique to each and everyone of us.